003 UNSENT

Letters to Me, The Before, Now, and To Come


Letter III.

The Unsent Debt

I want to undo death.

I want to unread the tribute that trapped me in five lines of being a tough girl, searching for the meaning in the missed times while the words I cannot speak stay stuck in my chest.

They burn through my throat and sinking into my tummy where they ache alongside a head that pounds when sleep refuses to come.

I will keep resending the opportunities I missed because of my anxiety. 

And I will keep working on myself because I think that’s what you want...

I am hanging in there to find out if this debt ever gets paid and if I will ever finally be allowed to stop being the tough girl.

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